I've Got a Little List

Stewie:

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found

I've got a little list, I've got a little list

Of society offenders who might well be underground

And who never would be missed, who never would be missed

There's the white kid with the baggy clothes who's talking like he's black

The girl you date who doesn't get the jokes in “Caddyshack”

The Asian guy who cuts in front of every single line

And Britney Spears for accidentally showing her vagine

And Bill O'Reilly's ineffective dermatologist

They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed

Secret Service:

He's got them on the list

He's got them on the list

And they'd none of them be missed

They'd none of them be missed

Stewie:

There's the guy behind the news reporter waving like a fool

And Senator Bill Frist, I've got him on the list

And the fat kid smiling warmly while he's peeing in the pool

He never would be missed, he never would be missed

There's the foul-smelling boy who comes to school in camouflage

And every bleeding member of the cast of “Entourage”

And while we're on the subject, HBO deserves a whack

For ending The Sopranos with a fucking cut to black!

And guys who when you shake their hand just bump you with their fist

I don't think they'd be missed. I'm sure they'd not be missed

Secret Service:

He's got them on the list

He's got them on the list

And they'd none of them be missed

They'd none of them be missed

Stewie:

There's the guy who sits beside you and keeps farting on the plane

And Shakira's lyricist. I've got him on the list

And the smarty on Thanksgiving who says, "It's the trip-toe-fane!" (tryptophan)

He never would be missed, he never would be missed

There's the blonde who tells you loudly with a voice just like a knife

[falsetto] "You know, someone should do a sitcom based around my life!"

[normal voice] The guy who watched "The Simpsons" back in 1994

And won't admit the damn thing isn't funny anymore

Stewie and Secret Service:

And anyone

And every one...

Who's ever...

Made me pissed!

Secret Service:

Made me pissed!

Made me really really pissed!

Stewie:

I've got them on the list

They'd none of them be missed

Secret Service Men:

They'd be none, they'd be...

They'd be none, they'd be none of them be missed

He's got them on the list

He's got them on the list

And they'd none of them be missed...

Stewie:

They'd none

Secret Service:

None of them...

Of...

None of them...

Them...

None of them

Stewie and Secret Service:

Be...

Missed!

Basso Profundo Secret Service Man:

None of them be missed!

• Artist:Family Guy (OST)
• Album:Lois Kills Stewie (S6 E5)