Shakira laments unhelpful boar attack bystanders

It’s been roughly one month since Shakira was mugged by wild boars and in that time we haven’t truly known a moment’s peace. For weeks, our minds have been troubled by the knowledge that marauding pigs could come flying through the bushes at any time, eager to snatch our purses like liberty spiked punks from a 1970s New York City crime movie. And now, speaking again about her fateful encounter with Barcelona’s hooligan hogs, Shakira has painted an even more anxiety-inducing image of the attack, explaining that bystanders watched her porcine predicament without offering any help whatsoever.

Glamour interviewed Shakira for the magazine’s November cover story and, knowing what readers want, opened the profile by asking for further details on her boar run-in.

“I was taking my son, Milan, for a walk in the park and I got him a little ice cream,” Shakira says, setting the stage. “We sat on one of those park benches and we were just minding our own business. And then two huge wild boars came from the back and ambushed [us] and took my purse!”

Shakira remembers that she was screaming “because they were taking it away, with my phone in it, my car keys, everything!”” She adds that it was almost as if the pig thieves “could understand me!” though their recognition of her as a terrified fellow living creature didn’t stop them from “digging inside my purse.” The boars smelled a sandwich, which they apparently retrieved before “[walking] away and [leaving] my purse.”

Worst of all, “people were just watching and they weren’t doing anything!” Shakira says. This last detail is especially terrifying to those of us who aren’t internationally famous pop stars.

If bystanders wouldn’t step in to help Shakira battle the hogs, what hope do the rest of us have

Read the entire story for more, including information on Shakira’s climate change activism, which she is somehow still passionate about despite the fact that her hog run-in has exposed her to the very worst of both human and pigkind.

[via Stereogum]

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