Get You Mad

[Intro]

Yo, mic-check (My dick!)

Testing, one, two… fuck

My dick… my nuts…

[Verse 1]

My attitude is worse than N.W.A's was

I'll battle you over stupid shit

And diss people who ain't have shit to do with it

Like Cool J does (my tattoo!)

You see me standin' outside of your buildin'

Screamin': "Puffy is good, but Slim Shady is for the children!"

I look at my life in a new light

Fuck it, give me two mics

I write songs for me, fuck what you like

You probably hear me rap half-hearted

‘Cause I don't like rap anyway

I'm just tryin' to get my porno career started

Every place and event—been there, done that

Shit, Dre stuck me in a suitcase when he went

Want a deal? Study these five chapters

Lesson 1: Throw demos as hard as you can at signed rappers

Lesson 2: Face 'em and diss 'em (what up dawg?)

Don't give 'em a demo; kidnap 'em

And make 'em come to your basement and listen (come on, you're coming with me, motherfucker check this out)

Lesson 3: Get a job at a label

Switch demos with Canibus and put yours on the owner's table

Lesson 4: Know you heard this before

"Hey, let me get your number! I'll call you tomorrow for sure"

Don't act like a fan, you wanna get signed

Get the whitest A&R you can find (hey dude, come here)

Pull him aside and rap as whack as you can

Lesson 5: Get a hook-up at Jive

Dress up like I.C.P. and have them come see you perform live

And that's the key, but when you see me on the street

I ain't givin' you shit, bitch, don't even bother askin' me

Toilet water splashes me right in the ass when I'm spittin', ‘cause I'm always shittin' when I'm rappin', like Master P (UNNNGGGGH)

Got a blowjob from Paula Jones and stuffed it so far in her mouth

My balls broke both of her collarbones

Told Mya this shit was all about me-ah

Gave Alyssa Milano syphilis, mono and gonorrhea

And all three of my main girls said "See ya!"

‘Cause Brandy and Monica walked in

And caught me fuckin' Aaliyah

I splish-splash while I'm takin' a bath

Grab a handful of pills, break 'em in half, take 'em and laugh

White trash, fuckin' your wife in the ass

While you're out siphonin' gas

For your lawn mower to cut the grass

[Hook]

So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad (Yo, why you diss me?)

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

And when I rap about a buncha shit you wished you had (A big dick!)

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad (Nurse! Nurse!)

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

[Verse 2]

What a wonderful day! I should go outside and play

Ain't no need to sit inside the house and hibernate

Hi, Renée! I was just about to toss a live grenade

In your driveway and drive away

Are you afraid of a blade made of a razor with AIDS?

Blood drippin' from it

Rippin' your stomach like a paper mâché

You talk a lot of shit, but you was never ill though

I'm sick enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow

Tipped over some cows, just for a joke and a laugh

Jumped up, choked a giraffe

Snapped his neck and broke it in half

Wagin' wars, went on stage

And sprayed Cage with Agent Orange

And wiped my ass with his page in Source

The demon is here, steamin' this year

I rip [Mystikal's] voice box out and scream in his ear

It's not a gimmick, bitch—it's an image, I live it

Give a fuck? I don't know what a fuck is to give it

"Yeah, I don't think this guy is well"

I'm high as hell, I'll beat you with a live cat

When I'm swingin' him by his tail

I'll fuckin'… I'll fuckin'… lay your nuts on the dresser

Just your nutsack by itself

And bang them shits with a spiked bat

Cut your neck off and sew your head right back

And leave you like that

You just triggered a prick who just mixed liquor

Who's itchin' to leave you disfigured

And stiffer than Chris-stiff-er Reeves

I was teethin' with strep throat

While your mother was breastfeedin'

And gave her the flesh-eatin' disease

I'm iller than takin' a hammer and beatin' your knees

And walkin' through South Central L.A., bleedin' in jeans

(Am I a Blood or a Crip?)

Wakin' up the next day in breathin' machines

Flashin' back to bein' shot and repeatin' the scenes

On how you just got smoked; and if you do live

You'll be too scared to tell it, like a Biggie and Pac joke

[Hook]

So if I hurt your self-esteem and you get dissed too bad

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

And when I rap about a fat bitch that you wished you had

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

I can't listen to that song, that shit's too sad

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

He'll never make it, his wrist is slit too bad

You know I just be sayin' that to get you mad

[Outro]

I know that makes you real mad, don't it? (Uh, huh)

That's right

Slim Shady (Yo)

Sway & Tech

Spraying wreck (Bitch!)

And we don't give a heck, or a damn, or a fuck, or a shit

So suck my mothafuckin' dick

• Artist:Eminem
• Album:The Slim Shady LP