Love Is lyrics

I love you like kings love queens

Like a gay geneticist loves designer jeans

I need you like New Orleans needs a drought

Like Hitler's father needed to learn to pull out

And I want you, yea, like a lawyer/mathematician wants some kind of proof

And I want you, yea, like JFK wanted a car with a roof

Cause love is takin' a dive

Then gettin' really comfortable and peein' in the pool

And love is real life porn minus all the stuff that makes porn cool

And love is a homeless guy searching for treasure

In the middle of the rain and finding a bag of gold coins

And slowly finding out that they're all filled with chocolate

And even though he's heartbroken, he can't complain cause he was hungry in the first place

I love you like Dora loves maps like the Pope's toilet loves holy craps

I need you like a voyeur needs a branch

Like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland Ranch

And I want you like all the Gothic kids

That look exactly the same never want to conform

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted

Nobody to read her fucking diary

Cause a diary's a collection of secret things

That no one is suppose to read thats the whole point of a diary

Millions of people have breached this little girls privacy

After she was chased by Nazis kick her while she's down

And if we met in 10000 BC I was your caveman youz my cavelady

If we got hot we'd start rubbing

If we got hungry we'd go clubbing

Theres wooly mammoths but I will protect us

You're making me devolve to a Homo Erectus. Oh

And if we met in 1780

I was a white Southern aristocratic plantation owner

And you were my dark-skinned servant lady

Slave, whenever I could get away from the misses

I'd go to your shed and then i'd steal you kisses

But let's be serious i'd still work you full time as a slave

There's a difference between romantic language

And a complete disregard for socio-economic trends

And if we met in 1941

I was a Nazi youz a Gypsy on the run

That's a little redundant

That, probably wouldn't've worked out

Because love is your favorite food for every breakfest, lunch and dinner

And love is the Holocaust if you don't die quick and you don't get thinner

And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles

And even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape

Now you don't want to reduce it at all cause if the rape rate declines

You'll see an equal decline in whistle sales

Without rapists whos gonna buy your whistles

Whose gonna buy your whistles

Love is all about whistles

Thank you

Uh, that one was a bit vulgar, but uh, y'know

Dicks and vaginas are kinda like Coke and Pepsi

Uh, I strongly prefer one but my dad thinks they taste the same

• Artist:Bo Burnham