WHAT’S FUNNY lyrics

My ex-girlfriend used to have a really weird fetish

Uh, she use to like to dress up as herself

And act like a fucking bitch all the time

My show is a little bit silly

And a little bit pretentious

Like Shakespeare's willy

Or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on

It's also a little bit gay

And a little bit offensive

Like Thanksgiving Day

Or Noam Chomsky wearing a strap-on

So, put your cell phones to vibrate

And put your vibrators to cell phone mode

Welcome to the show

It goes a little something like this

Joke, exactly

Welcome to my flow

It flows a little something like this

With a rap and a dis

And a swift wrap on the wrist

A wrap and a kiss

Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss

Shit, I got a show that'll test ya kids

Then, ask one question

And that question is

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny, f-funny

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny, oh yeah

Humor is often linked to shared experience

Like, a guy gets up and says

"Have you noticed that public restrooms

Have really inefficient hand-dryers?"

Oh my God, yes, I have

Ha-ha-ha

Really good point, they should fix that

It's good to know that somebody finally gets me

Because my wife divorced me

Which subconsciously forced me

To lose all sense of self

So, it's nice to think about hand-dryers

And not that cheating whore

Because stand-up comedy is actually pretty easy

If you're an Asian comic, just get up and say

"My mother's got the weirdest fucking accent"

Then, just do a Chinese accent

Because everybody laughs at the Chinese accent

Because they privately thought

That your people were laughable

And now you've given them the chance to express that in public

Ah, yeah

If you're a musical comic

Just give 'em a little weird voice inflection

Then take a Viagra and slap them

With a rock-hard misdirection

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny, f-funny

TOURETTES!

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny

Oh, and the audience says

"When I was a baby

Maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys"

Now I'm older and bolder

And just get mad cause I notice

That the keys are to a Hummer

Fuck my life, I don't fuck my wife

So, fuck my wife and fuck my life

And my son is gay, but not "sitcom gay"

Daughter's a whore like another girl

That used to be her mother

But the marriage made her

"Miss Merry Americana"

I wanna teen without screaming prima-donna

But radical feminists made my wife a man

Oh, and if I die happy

The situation will be autoerotic asphyxiation

I hate my life and it hates me back

And my friend is black

But I don't know what to call him

So, I just call him

"What up, Jamal?"

Even though his name is Steve

I hate my job, I hate my life

Hate my kids, hate my wife

Jews would know I do it, Judas beat me to it

I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma

And I masturbate because I'm the only one whose standards are low enough to fuck me

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny, f-funny

*pop* It's a boy

What's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

What's funny, what's funny, what's funny?

Funny, yeah

Hopefully this

*blows raspberry*

• Artist:Bo Burnham