Tonton Nestor [English translation]

Uncle Nestor,

you did wrong,

I’m telling you quite plainly.

You stirred up

trouble and chaos

at Jeanette’s marriage.

I must tell you,

Uncle, that you

behaved like an

utter cad, an

out-and-out boor,

a rather vulgar man.

When the bride,

with downcast eyes,

her lashes full of tears,

was making ready

to say “I do”

to the civil official,

what was it that caused you,

ill-mannered old lout,

to go, shamelessly,

to inflict a cruel

pinch on her

fleshy eminence.

Turning around

immediately,

she slapped, crack-bang!

the best man

who, happily,

had a very slappable face.

But instead of the

expected “I do”,

she cried “Mummy!”

and the mayor said to her

“No, my child,

it isn’t time yet.”

When the bride

with downcast eyes,

was making ready to say,

in a solemn voice

“I do”

before the Eternal,

there was mischief

when, once again,

you dared to put

your wretched

claw-like paw

on her rotundity.

Turning around

immediately,

she wiped the nose1

of an altar boy

who, happily,

had a bit of a sniffle,

but instead of the

expected “I do”,

with her poor weak voice

to the distraught

tonsured priest

she said “shit”, oh dear!

Although she used,

and indeed abused,

her right to have a lot of buttock,

by pinching it,

a bad joke,

you disappointed us,

and so, my word,

the next time

we marry Jeanette,

we’ll leave you out,

Uncle, I tell you,

I tell you quite plainly.

1. if the nose wasn't mentioned, it would mean she gave the alter boy a rocket, but it is mentioned so I don't think it can men that

• Artist:Georges Brassens