The Gay Animal Song [Tongan translation]

Good evening ladies and gentlemen!

What a wonderful audience!

Well, look at smell divine!

In the Origin of Species

Charles Darwin liked to say

That dressing up and showing off

Was purely male display.

But sadly scientifically

He led us all astray

For what he failed to notice

Was these creatures are all gay

There's a tiny bird in Kent

Who's ridiculously bent

And a rutting stag who is a total deer

There are naughty big blue whales

And the sperm whale prefers males

And the dolphin is of course completely queer

There's a very brazen chimp

Who is very rarely limp

And a shrimp who's pink and utterly obscene

While the small transvestite prawn

Is completely into porn

And the King Crab is of course an utter Queen.

Gay gay gay

They all are madly gay

But in Victorian times

That was not the thing to say.

In the Rutland Isles' warm waters

There's a cross-dressing tortoise

And an ass who makes a pass at everyone

There's a masturbating monkey

And a terribly rude donkey

And a very very famous lesbian swan

There's a big bisexuel elk

And a tiny gay young whelk

And a snake who is a rake all night and day

And a sorry little sheep

Who is in to Meryl Streep

And don't tell me the anteater's not gay!

Gay gay gay

They all are madly gay

Ten percent of nature's bent

At least that's what they say

Thank you so much, very, very kind!

I’d like to say hello to the Navy...

• Artist:Monty Python