Taking My Ball lyrics

[Intro]

Yo, Dre Man

Make my vocals sound sexy... woo!

Come on, man, come on, man, okay

[Chorus]

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right

But it's all right, it's okay with me

I'll do my steps all by myself

I don't need nobody to play with me

But if you just give me a chance

I can put you in a trance the way I dance

But don't nobody wanna play with me

So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

[Verse 1: Eminem]

I'm that guy man, shove a diamond up my hind end

And crush it with my butt muscles while I cut vocals

Slut poke holes in ya shirt, jump in mud puddles

While I stomp mudholes in ya ass girl, now let's cuddle

Blood curdlin', you're gurglin' on your blood, what'll

I do for my next trick? I'm feelin' wonderful

I think I might just do somethin' a little less subtle

Shove a fuckin' Tonka truck up a little kid's butthole

Feel the wrath of a psychopath slash ambassador

Of the Valentine's Day Massacre slash assassin

I slash her in the ass with a icicle

And leave her layin' a blood bath while I

Put a catheter in and jump in the bath with her

In my Spider-Man mask, man

Just imagine the fun I can have with a strap-on

Stick it up Kim Kardashian's ass and make the bitch run a triathlon

Are those pistachios? Damn, I'd like to have some

Laying on the patio, man, rolling a fat one

Shady, drop the magic marker, put the cap on

Goddamn, man, are you that much of an asshole?

[Chorus]

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right

But it's all right, it's okay with me

I'll do my steps all by myself

I don't need nobody to play with me

But if you just give me a chance

I can put you in a trance the way I dance

But don't nobody wanna play with me

So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

[Verse 2: Eminem]

I'm like Houdini, tuck my teenie eenie weenie between each

One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie

Make the shit disappear like Tara Reid in a bikini

Believe me, homie, you don't know the meaning of a meanie

They call me the fruit loop from Jupiter

I'm tryna maneuver the Hoover up in your poop shoot

Don't move or ya might get it stuck so fuckin' far up in your uvula

You ain't gonna know what he was tryna do to ya gluteus

Totally tubular, sniffin' glue through a tube in the studio

Now who do ya think is more fruitier?

Wiener smothered in peanut butter, puttin' on a tube of ya

Eye shadow and man, it looked nice, you should've seen it, mother

I think I'll put a piece of art on my Visa card

Then I'll go beat Mischa Barton with a Cuisinart

Then mosey on over to Rosie O'Donnell's with McDonald's

Jump on her lap and watch The Sopranos

[Chorus]

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right

But it's all right, it's okay with me

I'll do my steps all by myself

I don't need nobody to play with me

But if you just give me a chance

I can put you in a trance the way I dance

But don't nobody wanna play with me

So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

[Verse 3: Eminem]

Shady, what are you doin' chewin' on a human?

Grab an aluminum bat, hit Heidi Klum in the back, boom!

And assumin' the fact that that dude's in the back room

Usin' the bathroom, vacuumin' a raccoon

Skewin' a rat, a cat screwin' a baboon

You shouldn't ask what is he doin' with that broom

You should be glad he ain't leave you full of stab wounds

You in a trance, I'm back doing my dance, ooh

But they're afraid I might get Sarah Palin by the hair

And make her wear a bathin' suit and take her parasailin'

Shady, why do you gotta pick on the lady for?

Why you make her read 84 bedtime stories to you in baby talk?

'Cause I'm scared there's monsters under my bed

Kellie Pickler hid my juice box under my bassinet

No wonder my ass is wet, my diaper needs to be changed

You like graffiti, dyke? Well, I can pee-pee and write your name

[Chorus]

It feels so wrong 'cause it feels so right

But it's all right, it's okay with me

I'll do my steps all by myself

I don't need nobody to play with me

But if you just give me a chance

I can put you in a trance the way I dance

But don't nobody wanna play with me

So I'm taking my ball and going home, home

[Outro]

Fine, nobody wants to play with me?

Fuck you then, bitch!

You guys are always mean to me anyways

All you ever do is rub gum in my hair and stuff

You guys are gonna make me... make me sad, I'm sad

I'm gonna cry... I'm crying

I'm going to tell my mom... Mom!

• Artist:Eminem
• Album:Relapse: Refill (2009)