Medical Love Song lyrics

Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile

I've had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while

I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June

I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon

My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores

Your moenelial infetion, how I miss you more and more

Your dnob's itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea

At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear

Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst

You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist

Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine

I got snail tracks in my anus when you spirochaetes met mine

Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis

Epididymitis interstitial keratitis

Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis

My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me

As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee

My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen

My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green

My heart is very tender although my parts are awful raw

You might have been infected but you never were a bore

I'm dying from your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown

I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down

Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis

Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis

Epididymitis interstitial keratitis

Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis

• Artist:Monty Python