König von Deutschland 94 [English translation]

Every night at half-past twelve, when I've got the TV buzz

I would lay on my bed and think to myself

what it'd be like if I weren't who I am,

but rather chancellor, kaiser, king or queen

I think what Kohl can do, I can do just as well1

I'd listen to Vivaldi day in, day out

I would have all the liberty, could afford anything

I'd bite Birgit Broiler2 in her Treuhand3 like Waldi4

[Chorus:]

All that and much more would I do

If I were king of Germany.

All that and much more would I do

If I were king of Germany.

I'd change the Prinzen5 every day, bath them twice

give out the lotto numbers a week early

In the German military all they'd have would be hemp granades

I'd celebrate my birthday every day of the year

on television only one programme would remain

Hans Meiser6 twenty-four hours straight

I'd have two hundred castles and never be broke again

I'd be Rio the First, Sissi the Second7

[Chorus]

Socks and cars would no longer be allowed to stink

every morning I'd first have a glass of champagne

I'd be posher than Kinkel8 and fatter than Kohl9

and Scharping10 wouldn't know what to put his eyes on.

My spokesman, what would his name be?

I could appoint Rudi Carrell11, or Gott-schalk12, or Golodkowski13

I wouldn't do long talks; all I'd do would be singing instead.

and screw the bulb from the socket eventually14

[Chorus]

1. Helmut Kohl (* 3 April 1930 – † 16 June 2017) was a German statesman who served as Chancellor of Germany from 1982 to 1998 (of West Germany 1982–1990 and of the reunited Germany 1990–1998)2. refers to Birgit Breuel the former President of the Treuhand Agency.

A "Broiler" is what people used to call a grilled chicken in the former GDR3. The Treuhandanstalt ("Trust agency"), colloquially referred to as Treuhand, was an agency established by the government of the German Democratic Republic to reprivatize / privatize East German enterprises, Volkseigene Betriebe (VEBs), prior to the German reunification.4. "Waldi" used to be a typical personal name for a wiener dog5. Die Prinzen (The Princes) is a German music group with their roots in East Germany6. Hans Meiser is the name of a talk show that aired in the 1990s in the afternoon program of the private television station RTL7. Elisabeth of Bavaria (1837 – 1898) was Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary by marriage to Emperor Franz Joseph I. She was nicknamed "Sisi", in the Marischka-movies "Sissi"8. Klaus Kinkel was a German statesman, civil servant, diplomat and lawyer, who served as Foreign Minister (1992–1998) and Vice Chancellor of Germany (1993–1998) in the government of Helmut Kohl.

Rio Reiser probably choose to mention his name, because he wantet to construct an ambiguity with the German verbalism "feiner Pinkel" (dressed up dandy) (=> "feiner als der Kinkel")9. -> Helmut Kohl10. Rudolf Scharping is a German politician (SPD). He was from 1991 to 1994 the Minister President of the State of Rhineland-Palatinate and from 1993 to 1995 he was also the national chairman of the SPD. In the Bundestag election in 1994 he was candidate for chancellor11. Rudi Carrell was a Dutch entertainer. Carrell was one of the most successful Dutch personalities active in Germany. He worked as a television entertainer and hosted his own show, the "Rudi Carrell Show" (1965 - 1973)12. Thomas Gottschalk is a German radio and television host, entertainer and actor. He is best known for hosting "Wetten, dass..?"-show, for many years Europe's biggest television show (1987 - 2011)13. Alexander Schalck-Golodkowski was a politician and trader in the German Democratic Republic. He was director of a main department ('Hauptverwaltungsleiter') in the Ministry for Foreign Trade and German Domestic Trade (1956–62), the Deputy Minister for External Trade (1967–75), and head of the GDR's Kommerzielle Koordinierung (KoKo, 1966–86)14. Rio Reiser intends a pun with Helmut Kohl's nickname "Birne" (pear, an image a cartoonist had put on him), which in German also can mean "light bulb". ("Die Birne endlich mal aus der Fassung bringen" = to have the pear be taken aback)

• Artist:Rio Reiser
• Album:König von Deutschland 94 (Maxi)