From A Letter From Lesbia [Russian translation]

... So, praise the gods, Catullus is away!

And let me tend you this advice, my dear:

Take any lover that you will, or may,

Except a poet. All of them are queer.

It's just the same- a quarrel or a kiss

Is but a tune to play upon his pipe.

He's always hymning that or wailing this;

Myself, I much prefer the business type.

That thing he wrote, the time the sparrow died-

(Oh, most unpleasant- gloomy, tedious words!)

I called it sweet, and made believe I cried;

The stupid fool! I've always hated birds...

• Artist:Dorothy Parker