Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky lyrics

[Tony Hawk]

I can skate better than this church boy turd can

Not Cash Money, it's just Wayne versus Birdman

You got your whole league to protect and adore you

So which goon's gonna take this battle for you?

I'm the dude who blew up extreme sports

That nose looks like you've seen some extreme snorts

I mean, look at that thing! That slope is gigantic

Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic

And all the ice underneath you will get melted into water

When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter

You're old and you're basic, your talent is faded

And Oiler alert: you're about to get traded

I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half-pipe

I'll thrash this asswipe, hit you like a hash pipe

Keep your mittens on, Gretzky, you're too clean

I got this covered like gravy on poutine!

[Wayne Gretzky]

That verse was rough! Damn, Tony

So let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni

I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey

But on the microphone, I don't play, Hawkey

It's a street fight, T. Hawk! Show some respect

If you don't, then you'll catch a slap shot to the deck

And I take a Flyer down, Bird, you're getting wrecked

So you best prepare for arrival and cross-check

Let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth

Double what you've banked in bucks!

Check my net worth and my hot wife

The only woman in the world for Wayne

You're on your fourth wife, talk about the X Games

There was one big trick that you ever did

Then you got out-spun by a 12-year-old kid

Oh, you like fingerflips? How about one of these?

Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees!

[Tony Hawk]

Great One, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne

I got 99 problems, and you ain't one, Wayne

You'll catch a pop shove-it to the mullet if you tempt me

Your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh: empty!

[Wayne Gretzky]

Let's skip the kickflips and McTwists

You'll be speechless after 3 periods like an ellipsis

This goofy-footed geek's straight getting smoked

Got you down on your knee pads! Sorry about the deke joke!

[Tony Hawk]

Man, you should hit the buzzer 'cause it's time to change lines

You put that joke in the top shelf of lame rhymes

This ain't typical sports, I use centripetal force

While you prance around in 4-pound icy diaper shorts

I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck

Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams Mighty Suck

I taught kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do

Put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes!

[Wayne Gretzky]

Timeout! Let's talk about athletic achievements

You and I have so many world records between us

184! That's plenty of 'em

And I've set 183 of 'em

Undisputed, unrefuted! G-O-A-T

You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3

And I'm too far ahead for you to catch up

For true sports fans, this was finished as soon as they heard the matchup!

• Artist:Epic Rap Battles of History
• Album:Season 5