Lightspeed Champion: Falling Off The Lavender Bridge

When hyped British dance-punk outfit Test Icicles

imploded, everyone was surprised except the band members. "We were never that

keen on the music," vocalist Devonte Hynes told NME. It was a shame, in other

words, but not a crying shame. Well, bring on the waterworks: Hynes has

apparently found his muse, and unfortunately, it's the weepy LiveJournal

emoting favored by obvious inspiration Bright Eyes—an unavoidable comparison,

since Bright Eyes' Mike Mogis oversees Falling Off The Lavender Bridge's mushy layers of florid

strings and Omaha-style country picking. Of course, Hynes lacks Conor Oberst's

way with words, so he resorts to sophomoric "shock" lyrics ("Wake up, smell the

semen") and gangsta-posturing titles ("Let The Bitches Die"; "Everyone I Know

Is Listening To Crunk") to hide the fact that he isn't really saying

anything. When he drops the gimmicks, Hynes fares better: "Galaxy Of The Lost"

and "I Could Have Done This Myself" offer melancholy Brit-pop in a Dears vein,

but even these ultimately drown in cloying sentimentality and Hynes' obvious

identity crisis.