Shape of You Parody lyrics

The club isn't the best place to stalk a lover

so the gym is where I go.

That is where I spy on you when you box

I pretend I box also.

I've got a weird obsession with the shape of your body,

this creepy song is all about that.

Like your hands, nose, the shape of your ears, hips, and throat

and the shape of your mouth.

And, now I'm singing like:

What size are your boxing gloves?

Show me your hand shape

Hold on, what, excuse me?

Come on, now, just let me see.

I may be crazy, don't mind me.

Say, boy, your head is messed up.

Don't touch my waist.

Why are you measuring me?

Because I love your body.

Um, OMG, you are a freak!

Mmmmm

I'm in love with the shape of you.

I made a body diagram, too.

Your stomach is real flat, and smooth.

And your butt's round, and bubbly.

Last night I was in your room.

And I stole this red bra from you.

That's how I figured out the shape of your boobs.

Can I measure your inseam?

Weirdo, weirdo, weirdo, weirdo.

You're obsessed with my body.

Don't go, don't go, don't go, don't go.

What shape are your nipples, please?

One week in, and you come back to the gym,

was so glad to see your body.

Watching from the distance, so you wouldn't see me,

it was like we were on our second date.

I watched for hours, and hours, even when you took a shower,

making mental pics of all of your shapes.

I left a note in your locker,

signed "your body stalker",

let's both get naked, what do you say?

And, now you're singing like:

Weirdo, do you even box,

or do you just come to this gym to stalk me,

and inspect my body?

God damn it, stop measuring me!

Um, girl, yes, of course I box.

Okay, then prove it, throw a left hook at me.

Can I first measure your feet?

Wait, hold on, are those my panties?

Mmmmmm

I stole them from the locker room.

Okay, this has to end right now, dude.

I'm getting in that ring with you,

I'm gonna beat your body!

Objectifying girls is rude.

We have personalities too.

We're more than just hot bodies.

Show me your boobs.

I'm in love with your body.

Why are you such a psychopath?

I'm in love with your body.

Look, I even made a butt graph.

It's shaping up quite nicely.

I'm gonna knock your teeth out, man!

This is making me horny.

Can I please cover all your shapes with this lube?

Here's two shapes I got just for you.

Does anyone have a spare tooth?

• Artist:Bart Baker