Craigslist lyrics

Whoa, yeah!

You’ve got a ‘65 Chevy Malibu

With automatic drive, a custom paint job, too

I’ll trade you for my old wheelbarrow

And a slightly-used sombrero

And I’ll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist, I’m on Craigslist, baby, come on

Yeah!

Well, we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall

I never took a chance, never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas

I was wearing red Speedos and a hockey mask

Come on, let’s find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist, yeah, Craigslist, come on

I’m on Craigslist, well, baby, maybe you are too

Bee bomp a chonk a donk bim bam boo

Spoken:

An open letter to the snotty barista

At the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard:

I know there were 20 people behind me in line

But I was on a cell phone call with my mother

Didn’t you see me hold up my index finger?

That means I’ll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes

So what’s with the attitude, lady?

No tip for you

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts, you can have them for free

You can drop by on the weekend and pick them up from me

But the trash can ain’t part of the deal

Only giving you the peanuts, get real

Don’t have no Hefty bags, so bring your own

Don’t bug me with questions on the phone

Don’t ask for help, don’t waste my time

And don’t complain, ‘cause they won’t cost you a dime

Just ask yourself, Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have my Styrofoam peanuts

Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?

You can have them all

They’re on Craigslist, yeah

Craigslist, oh baby, come on

I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist

I’m on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now

Craigslist

• Artist:Weird Al Yankovic
• Album:Alpocalypse (2011)