Alfie lyrics

Oooh deary me,

My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed

I tell him he should get up 'cos it's nearly half past three

He can't be bothered 'cos he's high on THC

I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea

I can't even see him 'cos his room is so smoky

Don't understand how one can watch so much TV

My baby brother Alfie, how I wish that you could see

I only say it 'cos I care,

So please can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear,

Please don't despair my dear mon frère

Oooh Alfie get up it's a brand new day

I just can't sit back and watch you waste your life away

You need to get a job because the bills need to get paid

Get off your lazy arse, Alfie please use your brain

Surely there's some walls out there that you can go and spray

I'm feeling guilty for leading you astray

Now how the hell do you ever expect that you'll get laid

When all you do is stay and play on your computer games?

I only say it 'cos I care,

So please can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair my dear mon frère

Oh, little brother, please refrain from doing that

I'm trying to help you out so can you stop being a twat?

It's time that you and I sat down and had a little chat,

And look me in the eyes, take off that stupid fitted cap

I only say it 'cos I care,

So please can you stop pulling my hair?

Now, now there's no need to swear

Please don't despair

Please don't despair

My mon frère

• Artist:Lily Allen
• Album:Alright, Still (2006)