Happy Parody

I'm forty-one but look like I am eight

Thirty-two pounds is how much I weigh

My hat's so big you can see it from space

And this song's so overplayed it will drive you insane

Cue awful dancing

Clap along if you love watching people who can't dance

My style is tacky

I look like Smokey the Bear in this ridiculous brown hat

This song's so crappy

That it's used by the Army to torture people in Iraq

I'm so unhappy

But you'd never know because I just did a shit ton of crack

I really owe Daft Punk and Robin Thicke

'Cause without them I'd be irrelevant

You need to polish our dicks until they both shine

But before that let's snort some blurred lines

We're way too happy

Clap along if you're high and you just wanna clap

We're way too happy

The only way to stand this song is to take ecstasy and do smack

Happy, happy, happy

Apparently saying the same word ninety times guarantees a smash

Happy, happy, happy

Holy shit, I love happiness, please take all of my hard-earned cash

(Happy, happy, happy, happy)

I'm shaking now

Did so much speed

(Happy, happy, happy, happy)

Have to make sure that I stay happy

(Happy, happy, happy, happy)

So I can brainwash humanity

(Happy, happy)

With this dumb song and then

Sell more CDs

Stop, I'm here to sue Pharrell

I'm a Prozac attorney

The whole world's happy because of this goddamn song

And our drug sales are tanking

Freeze, Style Police

Pharrell, you're under arrest for that fugly-ass brown headpiece

But it's trendy

It's way too big for your head

You look like an ad for Arby's

Guys, stop arguing

Pharrell, I got your tests back and found out why your hat looks so big

You are shrinking

That is also why your voice sounds like a prepubescent kid

What are you saying?

According to this chart

You have ten more seconds to live

Doc, please help me

There's nothing that can be done

Say goodbye to your fake happiness

--VIDEO--

Thank God that horrible song is over!

Now, will someone please get in here and burn that fucking hat?

• Artist:Bart Baker