The good ship venus lyrics

On the good ship Venus

By Christ you should have seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

Sucking a dead man's penis

The captain's name was Lugger

By Christ he was a bugger

He wasn't fit to shovel shit

From one ship to another

And the second mate was Andy

By Christ he had a dandy

Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock

For cumming in the brandy

The third mate's name was Morgan

By God he was a gorgon

From half past eight he played till late

Upon the captain's organ

The captain's wife was Mabel

And by God was she able

To give the crew their daily screw

Upon the galley table

The captain's daughter Charlotte

Was born and bred a harlot

Her thighs at night were lily white

By morning they were scarlet

The cabin boy was Kipper

By Christ he was a nipper

He stuffed his ass with broken glass

And circumcised the skipper

The captain's lovely daughter

Liked swimming in the water

Delighted squeals came when some eels

Found her sexual quarters

The cook his name was Freeman

And he was a dirty demon

And he fed the crew on menstrual stew

And hymens fried in semen

And the ship's dog was called Rover

And we turned the poor thing over

And ground and ground that faithful hound

From Teneriff to Dover

When we reached our station

Through skillful navigation

The ship got sunk in a wave of spunk

From too much fornication

On the good ship Venus

By Christ you should have seen us

The figurehead was a whore in bed

Sucking a dead man's penis

• Artist:Loudon Wainwright III