Oh Doctor! lyrics

Oh, I wish I was a doctor

Not a barroom troubador

I wish I had an office

On the forty-second floor

Where ladies in the anteroom

So stylish and so pert

All wait their turn

To tell me where they hurt

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, I ache all over

Oh, Doctor, you're so nice

And you give such good advice

I don't even mind the price

'Cause you're so grand

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, you're so sweet

With you on call a sickness is a treat

It could be psychosomatic

Caused by birdies in my attic

Still you make it so dramatic, I expand

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, I'm off my feed

I can hardly eat but three poor meals a day

I'd get back my appetite

If you'd feed me day and night

Then I might endure a bite of something bland

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, I'm not well

Oh, Doctor, I've got a fever

It could be a mild infection

That requires an injection –

Streptomycin's what I mean, you understand

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, your pills are just too cute

I really don't know what I'd do without them

Some are scented with vanilla

I just keep them on my pilla

Or I wear them for a necklace on a band

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, write me a prescription

A little billet-doux from you to me

Call me back another day

I get well when I'm away

It's so boring being healthy, strong and tanned

Oh, Doctor, hold my hand

Oh, Doctor, I'm just low

Oh, Doctor, I need attention

If you think I need diversion

I could take a nice excursion

Where the AMA convention's being planned

Cause I love to have a doctor hold my hand

• Artist:Malvina Reynolds
• Album:Another Country Heard From (1960)