Josh A - Suicidal Thoughts

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die

Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

Why do I even try?

Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night

Trying to find a new outlet

The devil pounced in

I hear him howling, my vision clouded

Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way

Try to be strong when I deal with the pain

(yuh) Put a bitch in the coffin, so my family has options

Gonna work till' I'm dead

So that they get the best

Don't wanna set up a bad example cause' kids looking up

Can't leave them in shambles

Can't make them think clocking out is ok

So fuck suicide I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, trying to find the light

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, trying to find the light

(nah, nah)

I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now

Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now

I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now

Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die

Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

One too many bad thoughts inside me

Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me

I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice

I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always

Barely standing, crawling down the hallways

Sink into my bed, with death inside my head

(Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it

Just wish I had a better sense of meaning

Never meant to let you down

I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out

(Fuck)

Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god

I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up

But he called my bluff

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, trying to find the light

Try to free my mind

I don't know what's right

Wasting all my time, trying to find the light

(nah, nah)

I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now

Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now

I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now

Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die

Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright

But every day I feel like dying

Every day I feel like dying (dying...)

• Artist:Josh A